Mr. Lydon - A Teacher

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Episode 038 - say it with your whole black mouth

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say it with your whole black mouth Mr. Lydon

Danez Smith
say it with your whole black mouth

say it with your whole black mouth: i am innocent.
& if you are not innocent, say this: i am worthy 

of forgiveness, of breath after breath.
i tell you this: i let blue eyes dress me in guilt

walked around stores convinced the very skin 
of my palm was stolen. what good has it brought?

days filled flinching thinking the sirens 
were reaching for me. & when the sirens were mine

did i not make peace with god?
so many white people are alive 

because we know how to control ourselves.
how many times have we died on a whim

wielded like gallows in their sun-shy hands?
here, standing in my own body, i say: next time

they murder us for the crime of their imaginations
i don’t know what i’ll do.

i did not come to preach of peace
for that’s not the hunted’s duty.

i came here to say what i can’t say
without my name being added to a list

what my mother fears i will say
what she wishes to say herself

i came here to say

                                       i can’t bring myself to write it down

sometimes i dream of pulling an apology
from a pig’s collared neck & wake up crackin up

if i dream of setting fire to cul-de-sacs
i wake chained to the bed

i don’t like thinking about doing to white folks
what white folks done to us

when i do

                      can’t say

          i don’t dance

 

o my people

          how long will we

 reach for God

           instead of something 

                          sharper?